I thought it would be a good idea to share some of your funny jokes . Keep them PG13

What do you call cr*p Lamborghinis?

Bull

I got a great joke: Blood On The Dance floor.

I don't get it

I see what you did there...

Blood on the dance floor is a terrible band that needs to be wiped off the face of this earth. Look up their lyrics. Its disgusting..

What's the difference between Porcupines and Porsches?

Porsches have Pricks on the Inside....

(Sorry if i offended any Porsche fans here...)

Well then...

I have 2 jokes

1)There are 2 blonds on different sides of a lake. One says how do I get to the other side? The other one says I don't know your already there ahahahah!

2)There is a game of golf between Santa Claus, a smart blond and a alligator. Who wins? The alligator because the others don't exist!

1. A blond was talking to herself whilst walking down the street "How can I sell my car?? It has done over 100,000 miles." Another woman over heard her and said "well I know a friend that can turn the clock back on your car so it seems to have less miles than it really has done I know its illegal but it is worth the risk" so she gave the blond his number.

A few weeks later the woman saw the blond walking down the street and asked her if she had sold her car she replied “no why would I sell my car if it has only done 30,000 miles???”

2.There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A State Trooper pulls it over. "What have I done wrong, officer?" the driver asks.
"You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer says to the driver. "You must go at least 50mph."
"But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!" the driver replies.
"HA HA HA!" The officer laughs out loud. "That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"
The driver leans back in her car seat and the cop sees another woman sitting beside her. She looked as pale as a ghost.
"What happened to her?" the officer asks.
"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160."

Why do you wear two pairs of pants when youre going golfing

In case you get a hole in one

While were there only 1500 Mexicans in the battle of the Alamo?
They only had 3 vans!
(No offense to any Mexicans....It's just a joke)

Here is one i like :

A man got a new Ferrari for his birthday and went to test drive it on the highway. As he was driving he wondered how fast it could go, but before he could get very far he heard sirens. He sped up thinking he could outrun the cop, but then he came to his senses and pulled over. The cop walked over and asked for the man’s license and registration. Then the cop said, “Listen, Mac, it’s Friday, I’m tired, and I just want to go home, so if you can give me an excuse I haven’t heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The man thought for a minute, then replied, “My wife ran off with a cop the other day, and I thought you were trying to give her back to me.”

The cop nodded and said, “Have a nice day.”

A man pushes his BMW into a gas station. He tells the mechanic, "It died."

After working on the car for only a few minutes it runs nicely and idles smoothly.

The man asks, "What's the story?"

The mechanic replies, "Just cr*p in the carburetor."

After a moment of contemplation, he asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, wiping his mouth "it's just ice cream."